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silent whisper

Again i love silence..haaha..

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

[2:22:00 AM]

strangely i wanted to write here for a very long time.
and just as strangely, whenever i start my mind goes blank.

oh well..
i have too many things to say that words can do justice to.

i think its weird that death comes in 3s.
its sad. but strangely comforting. you don't go alone.
but i guess its a reminder to me..
that death is looming,
ever so near.
and its element of surprise,
makes death a face of engima.

how well we know that we should be preparing for it.
yet we think that today its not the day and that tomorrow is just a day too soon.

but if its truely tomorrow?

does death give us the benefit of lasting a few minutes longer?
but surely we know that no amount of time will stop us from desiring to live longer.
how foolish can we be.. to think that we can decieve death.. though in tru fact its deciving us

SPArkling SMile

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

[9:42:00 PM]

im looking at all thats happening around me..

what do you think is the most pleasant attribute one could have?

Im thinking humbleness.

someone without arrogance..

I'm now 21.

And i can assure you that with age, the seed of pride has grown with its roots holding onto the depths of the heart.

ITs roots run so deep that to uproot it itll take a good throttling..

the sense that one is better (much better mind you) than the other.

yet the former comprehend not that the beautiful one in the eyes of one much wiser, much greater is indeed the latter.

It shames me to admit that at times i too have had its seeds planted, have felt the leaves sprouting..and the flower of pride blooms and blossoms with the showers of praises..

yes i am ashamed..

very ashamed..

you might ponder why.

Pride is something one can have.

after all one must have attained an accomplishment to have pleasure and thus entitle themselves to the feeling of pride.

surely pride cannot stand by itself if one has achieved nothing.

yet one can perceive that he or she has succeeded but not realised that in true fact the success is not but a shadow.

a shadow of the victory.

chasing after the shadow will get you neither close to it nor will it give you any satisfaction of achievement.. after all all you have done is exausted yourself..

perhaps im not making any sense at all.

all im saying is that the pride is a deadly sword..

and in it one can neither find peace or happiness..

it was what got iblis thrown out of heaven..

it was what lead many astray..

we don't realise that being proud means to be ungrateful..

simply because we think that we are more worthy

and we think that the cause of our success is us..us alone.

yet we forget that the sole one is god.

without HIM we can't even exist.

let alone succeed.

yet we have this arrogance.

that we are better.

only because we have more.

let it be grades, wealth, beauty

but does more equate to being better?

or is a perception we have sought to see despite the reality.

do you know the most generous amongst us are the poorest?

if you don't believe me. go to someone with almost nothing and tell him that you have nothing.

he will be willing to give you more than what the richest man will be living to give.

you can mark my words.

im very sure.

for ive seen it myself.

i know of poor people who will love you like their own flesh & blood

and i know of rich who are your own flesh who are barren of love.

surprising isn't it.

and we are supposed to be the superior of creatures..

when creatures show love and care to one another despite their "status"..

or maybe its us who deemed ourselves as superior..

out of PRIDE..

..of course.

SPArkling SMile

Thursday, February 11, 2010

[8:15:00 PM]

Okey officially LG sucks..
man..
this year has gotten off to a really bad start..
i have this funny feeling that at the end of this year..
ill claim that its bitter sweet..

firstly its gonna be a painful year
or has been one thus far
ouch..
spacers hurt!
its like your teeth having a boxing match in your mouth..
ouch..
chillies burn!
esp the small chilli padi's small seeds..
ouch..
ouch..
ouch..

secondly its gonna be a hilarious year..
haha i can't tell you the funny, yet embarrassing things ive done thus far..

SPArkling SMile

Monday, January 4, 2010

[11:16:00 PM]

ever felt a great sense of awe?
ashamed at your own flaws that seems endless?

the past weeks have served as a reminder of where i stand and
the effort that i have put..
or more like not put in..
i have been humbled by some people's patience..
something that i know that i will never be able to compete..
let alone preceed..

i have been granted the gift of time..which i have let waste away..
i know that time is ticking..
yet knowing alone serves no purpose..
its a reminder..
but nothing more..
just a simple reminder..which i frequently chuck away into the unknown depths of my mind..

i know that this is what i love..
i know tha physio is something i chose..
it chose me..
it wasn't something thrown at my face..
it was something that i had gone after..

yet after knowing all these..

i don't seem to throw myself into learning about everything..
i think that this dunya is somthing that will not last..
but then i haven't been working any hard for akhirah
i know i am fooling myself.
i am cheating..yet i know that the cheated one is me
and the loser is me..
how much more foolish can i get..

sometimes i wonder..
may be just maybe.. if i had done archi would i be better?
i know that i wouldn't be happier..
just more satisfied grade wise
sigh..

i hope ill end my seemingly useless attitude soon
i hope i learn patience and knowledge from you..
i hope to be a stronger person..
one who stands tall with knowledge..
both dunya and akhirah..
not one crouching in utter ignorance..

i will become a better person
after all everything lies in my hands..
to many changes too soon
so many change of plans..
i don't seem to see things your way..
i just see things so differently..
but the world is not a place for different..simple minded people..

i don't lie..
and i hope not to..
but sometimes the truth seems more unbelieveable than a lie..
believe it or not..
gee i dont'care much, but i do care enough to think about your thoughts..

yea..

i m the foolish one..
maybe i should be more selfish?
maybe i should be more scheming..
but strangely i was never taught them..
maybe..
its time to learn...

SPArkling SMile

Monday, October 26, 2009

[9:39:00 PM]

today was an insightful day..
a day for rememberance..
so remember today..
its the day when i felt the warm feeling of love..
friendship found a new definition in my dictionary..
and again words fail to express my feelings..
so thank you atiqah and fannie..
for helping..
the last lap was possible because of you guys..

do you know sometimes i feel that im not as good as a friend as they are to me..
ill miss you guys

you know i never saw life without smell or taste..
i can never imagine how it will be like to not smell or taste..
man..its like cutting off your nose and tongue..
you can't salivate at the aroma of freshly baked cookies..
can't cringe at the stinky toilet..
can't cough and cry because of the incredibly spicy tom yam soup..
i can't imagine..and if i have to..
i hope the imagination doesn't turn to a brutal reality..

i am so grateful..
allhamdurillah..its really in losses do we learn the beauty of our perfect creation..
and one can't help wondering..if the creation was this good how will the creator be..
subhanallah

SPArkling SMile

Friday, September 25, 2009

[1:20:00 PM]

a quickie..
i think the privileged don't know that they are..
till they fall and see it from a far..
then they wonder why they hadn't treasured it before..
well some times its too much to think afore..

old habits die hard..
new habits try too hard to stay..

oh well..
see the world through a kaleidoscope and perhaps you'll get the drift..
till next time..

SPArkling SMile

Saturday, August 29, 2009

[12:39:00 AM]

no titles..
its past midnight..
but i couldn't sleep..

in this month of forgiveness how can one forgive an unforgivable act?
something so crude..
something so ridiculous..
im digusted by the unjust..

when will the promised day come?
where every unjust will be justly judged?
when will the day of questioning arrive?
where everyone's lies and misdoings questioned?
this dunya (world) offers no peace..
when will we see aahirah?

ya allah

i wish it was much easier..but its hard..if you are torn between respect and rational reasoning..
which wins?
i wish that i knew a way out without ripping any strings..
already on the verge of tearing..how can i possibly not break the fragile bond?
an impossible task at hand..
yet there is much at risk..for me that is..

dont you see how much it pains me to watch your life waste away?
and now you want me to be part of this vicious cycle..
i don't want to disappoint you..
yet i can't throw my life away and trap myself in a trap that i can never get out of..
i hate this..

i really do..
i smile coz frowning doesn't help..
it gives me neither joy nor satisfaction..
yet the smile doesn't reach the eye..
a smile with no soul..
perhaps thats wad ive become..

cause i dint believe that youll do this..
i thought that youll stand up for once..
yet i don't know why i don't blame you..
i convince myself tat it was the situation..
not your character default..
everytime you bring me into the cycle..
i laugh..
coz i can't cry..
my heart is a rock..
like u say ever so often..

but do you realise that it has to be such?
for we have to protect ourselves from the stones aimed at you?
you are so vulnerable..
and we don't want to end up that way..

i hate these strings that tie me down..
yet each string has an emotional value that i just can't bring myself to throw away..
y does this have to happen time and time again?

wat wrong have we done to deserve such?
you don't deserve it!
they do!
yet y are we suffering?us both?
y not them?

every time we see you suffer it reallie is painful..
and we are pulled into it along with you..
don't you see that they are the enemy not us?
must you lose us to realise that?

i don't know wat to do..
i know that the price is money..
but i really don't want us to win this battle..
we have fought so long coz the battle was for us to win!
but don't u see the injust?
they are fighting with you on their side..
don't you see that without you they are nothing?
though they make you believe that it is you who is nothing!

and here we are fighting for you..
against you..

ya allah..
may allah help you..
for you are confused beyond means..

i don't want to fight this battle any more..
let them win
i mean they are going to anyways..
y prolong the already known?
lets lose with dignity..
let them win this battle!

for they have a greater battle to fight in the hereafter..
and there ALLAH is the judge..
he is fair..
he will let us win..
for all along we have suffered for nothing..
there it will bring peace to our suffering..
there it will be justice to the ultimatum..
nothing unfair..

AL HAQQAH - INCOTESTABLE THE REALITY

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

The Sure Reality!

What is the Sure Reality?

And what will make thee realise what the Sure Reality is?

The Thamud and the 'Ad People (branded) as false the Stunning Calamity!

But the Thamud,- they were destroyed by a terrible Storm of thunder and lightning!

And the 'Ad, they were destroyed by a furious Wind, exceedingly violent;

He made it rage against them seven nights and eight days in succession: so that thou couldst see
the (whole) people lying prostrate in its (path), as they had been roots of hollow palm-trees tumbled down!

Then seest thou any of them left surviving?

And Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown, committed habitual Sin.

And disobeyed (each) the apostle of their Lord; so He punished them with an abundant Penalty.

We, when the water (of Noah's Flood) overflowed beyond its limits, carried you (mankind), in the floating (Ark),

Then, when one blast is sounded on the Trumpet,

And the earth is moved, and its mountains, and they are crushed to powder at one stroke,-

On that Day shall the (Great) Event come to pass.

And the sky will be rent asunder, for it will that Day be flimsy,

And the angels will be on its sides, and eight will, that Day, bear the Throne of thy Lord above
them.

That Day shall ye be brought to Judgment: not an act of yours that ye hide will be hidden.

Then he that will be given his Record in his right hand will say: "Ah here! Read ye my Record!

"I did really understand that my Account would (One Day) reach me!"

And he will be in a life of Bliss,

In a Garden on high,

The Fruits whereof (will hang in bunches) low and near.

"Eat ye and drink ye, with full satisfaction; because of the (good) that ye sent before you, in the
days that are gone!"

And he that will be given his Record in his left hand, will say: "Ah! Would that my Record had not been given to me!

"And that I had never realised how my account (stood)!

"Ah! Would that (Death) had made an end of me!

"My power has perished from me!"...

(The stern command will say): "Seize ye him, and bind ye him,

"And burn ye him in the Blazing Fire.

"Further, make him march in a chain, whereof the length is seventy cubits!

"This was he that would not believe in Allah Most High.

"And would not encourage the feeding of the indigent!

"So no friend hath he here this Day.

"Nor hath he any food except the corruption from the washing of wounds,

"Which none do eat but those in sin."

So I do call to witness what ye see,

And what ye see not,

That this is verily the word of an honoured apostle;

It is not the word of a poet: little it is ye believe!

Nor is it the word of a soothsayer: little admonition it is ye receive.

(This is) a Message sent down from the Lord of the Worlds.

And if the apostle were to invent any sayings in Our name,

We should certainly seize him by his right hand,

And We should certainly then cut off the artery of his heart:

Nor could any of you withhold him (from Our wrath).

But verily this is a Message for the Allah.fearing.

And We certainly know that there are amongst you those that reject (it).

But truly (Revelation) is a cause of sorrow for the Unbelievers.

But verily it is Truth of assured certainty.

So glorify the name of thy Lord Most High.

Quran: Al Haqqah

my fave surah.. ive warned you on my part now its ur choice to believe or not.

SPArkling SMile

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