ever felt a great sense of awe?
ashamed at your own flaws that seems endless?


the past weeks have served as a reminder of where i stand and
the effort that i have put..
or more like not put in..
i have been humbled by some people's patience..
something that i know that i will never be able to compete..
let alone preceed..


i have been granted the gift of time..which i have let waste away..
i know that time is ticking..
yet knowing alone serves no purpose..
its a reminder..
but nothing more..
just a simple reminder..which i frequently chuck away into the unknown depths of my mind..


i know that this is what i love..
i know tha physio is something i chose..
it chose me..
it wasn't something thrown at my face..
it was something that i had gone after..



yet after knowing all these..



i don't seem to throw myself into learning about everything..
i think that this dunya is somthing that will not last..
but then i haven't been working any hard for akhirah
i know i am fooling myself.
i am cheating..yet i know that the cheated one is me
and the loser is me..
how much more foolish can i get..




i hope ill end my seemingly useless attitude soon
i hope i learn patience and knowledge from you..
i hope to be a stronger person..
one who stands tall with knowledge..
both dunya and akhirah..
not one crouching in utter ignorance..






i don't lie..
and i hope not to..
but sometimes the truth seems more unbelieveable than a lie..
believe it or not..
gee i dont'care much, but i do care enough to think about your thoughts..

yea..



i m the foolish one..
maybe i should be more selfish?
maybe i should be more scheming..
but strangely i was never taught them..
maybe..
its time to learn...